Shod it. There are those days that I see people happy and get sad. This is one of them. And its not that I don't want them to be happy. I have two theories (a) I am envious of their happiness which I don't think is achievable in my life. Maybe its just something I'm not meant to have. It sucks but I'll live. (b) I feel left out.
That is especially true this week. Everyone's having school and friends. I have work. And though pple come in and out of the office, technically I have NO colleagues. I'm the only admin person. even my superior is not around half the time. So I spent 9.30 to 6 in silence just filing. I don't think the job sucks. Its easy and not too stressful. Its just lonesome. And even when I get home, I know there's about no one I get msg or sms or talk to. They got school and stuff, so I don't really want to bother.
So it wasn't really army. Maybe its just me. To be left out.
And you know what shods more? Knowing someone is in pain/distress/hurt and knowing there's nuts I can do about it. Either I'm not a good friend or I'm not as close to them as I thought/hope to be.
It sucks.
Dear God, It sucks, sometimes it really does. I don't know how things will get better. Heck I don't even know if they'll get better. Help me to trust in You. You are my hope. Without You I'll be hopeless. Now all I can do is hope/trust that Your plan for me will be good. And that happiness/joy/prosperity will be part of that plan.
