ARH! Why must it conflict? So frustrating. I can already barely behave normal and still things have to conflict! And the choices I make not only affect me but I must bear the burden of making a choice that could affect my peers.
This burden is too heavy to bear alone. I have God. He bears all my burdens. My search among men for one that's closer than a brother/sister continues. Where I can be brutally honest and lift but some of these burdens off me. Maybe I need therapy or psychologist or something like that.
Its not that God is not enough. God is more than enough. And being with God is what makes me realise I got real issues and problems which I need to work out or just to talk them out.
Inadequacy.Fear.Worry.Anger.
So many things plague the deepest recesses of my mind.
Yet Lord in You I will trust. Trust that You'll help me through it. Trust that you'll help me find a person with whom I can share myself and hopefully vice versa.