Today has indeed been a merry Christmas. I would have given anything for a special Christmas. And seeing situation as it is, I think its as close as it gets to being good.
I took a moment today to remember Christmas one year ago. Lunch at a place in paragon. A long table full of people, and me trying to calculate the bill. Just a few tables away, but the minds were worlds apart. Two lives on different paths not meeting nor intersecting. Each not really knowing the other, besides a few simple laughs and interactions. Both were just ideas to each other. So close were two lifes, yet so far. One year on, how things have changed. So far, yet nearer. How drastic one year can be. I wonder what it would have been like if the time frame had been a year earlier. I wonder one year from now, on Christmas of 2008, what will I be thinking. What will I be reflecting on. What will have changed. Trust and Faith in the Ultimate Plan. My wish, my dreams.
Christmas is the perfect excuse to give. I ain't worried about how wide spread my name is becoming. So long as my actions match my feelings. But I feel bad. I only managed to get cards for people and some chocolate marshmallow thingy. No presents for people. So sorry peeps.
And I'm super super tired. Haven't had chance to catch up on sleep. Waking for service on sunday, waking for a call on monday and then waking super early today so I can get everything done before people started leaving their houses. But its all worth it :) Smiles all around for people!!
And the day was a bit dippy after 10 a.m. service. But I had a great afternoon. Wandering around with the little girl. Talking about people we know. Sharing a bit. Me falling asleep. Us waiting for violent girl. Watching movie. Eating dinner. Them teasing me about smiling while looking at my phone. Seeing the little girl at the edge of wakefulness.
And the response was much better than I thought. Stand there and laugh. :D
Seeing people laugh and smile has been great. Esp. so when some smiles are sweeter than others.
I hope tomorrow doesn't drop too suddenly. Don't punch me out or kick out my legs from under me. Have a feeling it will, hoping it wouldn't.
What have you decided? What will you do? Will you do whatever is necessary even though its tough to? Will you not mindlessly get swept by the current? Is it a memory or a feeling? A looking forward or a looking back? Are you just continuing what you started for the sake of it? What is the purpose and the end product? Just try and see how? Or reaching for the end line? Saying God 'bless my plans'? Or asking God 'what is Your's?' ?
Many questions but I trust in God's work in you.
And God has a way of telling you stuff. I asked for a prayer on one thing and God turns it around. Instead, telling me what I needed to hear instead of what I wanted to. God I will ponder more. And I have tried. Opening just a creak in the door. God guide me, God lead me.
