I should not... and I will not... not for the next two days... tie my hands!
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The days are becoming routine... shall go find a hobby... maybe origami! ahahahz:D
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I have been looking inwards. Searching my thoughts and my feelings. My intentions and desires. And no longer do I know what will make me happy.
I saw an episode of oprah today about happiness. It was quite typical I guess. The usualy hoo-hah about happiness. If I keep trying hard, then it should mean my locus of control is internal. But then I feel like my success is determined by circumstances, therefore it should then be external. It figures why one should never psychologically analyse oneself. Doesn't work so well.
If I want it I try? If I love it, I try? Let go? Wait?
All questions without an answer.
Am I me? Do I even like me? Guess one of my biggest flaws is not knowing how to be loved. Neither am I expecting to be loved, and even if i was, I probably couldn't recognize it.
Happiness? A pipe dream perhaps.
Perhaps my misery will contribute to other's happiness. Equaling out some sort of balance. Work hard and don't ask. ---------------
*Pat on my back* I managed to flip burger patties with my frying pan without the use of utensils. *toss* *toss*
